Nighttime Ideas
by cas-the-unicorn
Summary: I found these masterpieces in my notes from the hiatus in-between seasons 9 and 10, and I thought you guys deserved to see them. This is the kind of stuff I come up with at 3 in the morning. Enjoy! (Lots of cursing and inappropriateness ahead, prepare yourself)


**Hey guys, I know I haven't been active for a while, but I found these beauties in my notes from the season 9 to 10 hiatus, and I thought you deserved to see them.**

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Happy birthday Cassie boo your like fifty now! Congrats!

Excuse you you ignorant fucking douche I am more than three thousand years old so you can shut your fucking mouth.

Oh that time of month is it?

Yeah, the time of month for me murder you, since it seems to happen every month.

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"Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like meeee"

That sweet sound almost fucking killed me my first day back from hell that sound is not sweet.

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Fuck, dean sighs, I should have gone to law school that's probably why Sammy is so tall he needed to tower over his opponents. He probably got free food too. I should have been a lawyer...

Jk no come on Crowley let's go to the club and sex some bitches aw yeah.

* * *

Sam come on, john says, you are 16 and you look like some hippie that tried to sell me dope once just cut your fucking hair.

No dad I shall not cut my hair it must be free and untamed like my rebel heart.

Dafuq what kind of sick monster did I raise.

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Oh Cas, dean sighs, the pupils of your angelic blue eyes sparkle like the depths of my soul... Haha jk I'm a demon I have no soul and soon you won't either see ya in hell bitch #no homo

* * *

Deeeeaaaaan your eyes look like little green apple jolly ranchers come here I want to eat them.

No Sam what the fuck how did you get so drunk I was gone for fifteen minutes to go GET alcohol.

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So Kevin what does advanced placement mean?

Well its-

I thought as advanced you could get was bottom then you could watch porn while doin it.

EW DEAN DAFUQ

* * *

Hello dean.

CAS WHY ARE YOU NAKED AND COVERED IN BEES ON MY BABY GET THE FUCK OFF

Oh I'm sorry de- OW DAMMIT DEAN ONE IS IN MY ASS

We'll now you know what it feels like to have a little annoying creature in your ass.

*pointed silence*

*confused silence*

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Ug dean I'm so tired of dying its gettin annoying Sam sighs

Yeah dean me too Cas says its lots of work

Okay you little cranberry fucknuts Dean says I have died more than a hundred times so shut your bitchin mouths

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So why do you guys always wear plaid Cas asks

Well young grasshopper dean says when I kill stuff I stuff their essance into one of the little squares so that I can always remember my accomplishments. It helps a lot when I'm feeling down about the job.

Well idk what dis bitch is talkin bout sam says but I just look downright sexy in it

* * *

*sees rainbow*

Aw look dean, Sam says, its you!

* * *

Come ON, Cas! Just admit it, the white part of the candy corn is the best! Stop pretending!

Bitch, i aint pretending! The yellow is the best! Its the chewiest and tastiest! You just like the white because you're white.

Hey, you're white too.

No, my vessel is white. I am a different plane of colour, douche.

Well, you are sure acting white!

How in hell can I act like a colour?

*sigh* You have to have seen the stereotypes.

Yeah, stereotypical white people that think the white part is the best when it is really the yellow!

Oh my GAWD Cas!

* * *

K, dean I have to ask Cas says when you turn your eyes black are they like sunglasses or are they just for show because that's pretty useless

Do you WANT to get stabbed by my hella sexy jaw knife?

*looks down* no...

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Crowley:*drops shot glass* ugh, fuck me

Dean: maybe later *winks*

Crowley:*sighs*

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Crowley: how big is an acre?

Dean: hella

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Crowley: dean were did you put my suit jacket

Dean: up your ass and around the corner

Crowley: what the fuck how old are you twelve

Dean: compared to you probably

* * *

How that conversation in swan song should have gone:

Cas, are you God?

Bitch I might be

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Hey Cas, meg says seductively, are we gonna order pizza sometime or what

You know I don't eat—oh, wait, you mean like the pizza man, then sure, but are you really willing to babysit some bitch ass kids?

No, I'll sure be sittin you

Alright, I can deal with that

You'd better be able to deal with that, because we aren't going to just ORDER pizza, we are going to EAT it too. I'll make you SCREAM from how delicious the PIZZA is, and the neighbors will be complaining about how much we are enjoying our PIZZA

Okay, and I know how much you like pickles

Oh Clarence, you sure know how to knock a girls pants off

Good, because I'm not doin it on lucky brand jeans

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Come on Crowley just tell me what the hell happens to the mom! You never see her when ted is talking to the kids where the fuck is she?!

Dean just watch the show for yourself you said you got to the like seventh season just watch it!

I cant! Your hellhound ate my tv!

* * *

Cas why are you naked?!

Sam told me that human bodies require cleansing but I didn't realize I needed a towel

Oh my god cas- wait. No homo dude, but you have a really tiny dick! Damn!

Dean! This is not, me, this is a vessel!

No, jimmys gone now, that is all you. Damn, how did he even have kids?! Those must be some very eager fertilizers!

Dammit jimmy

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 **I hope that you guys enjoyed reading these because I sure as hell enjoyed finding them again.**


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